Emotional Intelligence – 03. – Empathy

Put yourself in their shoes.



After connecting to the gut and self-control, the third dimension of emotional intelligence is empathy.

It is not enough to listen to what they have to say to understand the views of people around us. You have to be able to put in their place and perceive the situation as they perceive themselves. It must also, in addition to listening to the words they articulate, be aware of what they communicate by their tone of voice, their posture and body language. Empathy is the ability that allows us to put ourselves in the place of others.

Being empathetic, is guess to the emotions experienced by others, accept that they can feel these emotions and understand the decisions of others even if these are not decisions that should be taken. Empathy helps you make better decisions because it allows you to take into account, during the decision making, the impact they will have on others, and it allows you to present your decisions based on the apprehensions of each.

The development of empathy takes time, but it’s a definite plus for those who want to succeed.

Learning to listen

stones emotions

During all the discussions you will have today, use the following guidelines:

• Do not prepare your response while the other speaks. Concentrate on the message that the other is communicating to you.

• Do not focus only on words. Be aware of voice intonation and body language.

• Try to understand why your partner says what it says, and what is the basis for his reasoning.

• Rephrase what the person tells you to make sure you have understood his message. Use to make sentences like this:
“So to summarize, you think …” “Let me make sure I understand. What you say, in fact, is that … “or” If I understand, you feel ______ because _____ . That’s right?”

• If you do not agree with the view of your partner, hold yourself to telling him that he’s wrong. Explain that you would like to understand how he reached to this conclusion.

If you are generally unsympathetic, expect that people look at you strangely during this activity. You are an alien in their eyes. They do not often have the feeling of being connected to you. They will be very surprised to discover that, for once, you take into account their opinions and that you are able to become informed with respect, even if you disagree.

In addition, if you attend a meeting today, do not wear only your attention to the person who’s speaking. Look at those who are silent. Notice those who make their designs on paper or adopting a closed position (arms crossed, face neutral, etc.) and answer the following questions:

• Who speaks when that person draws instead of listening? Is it always the same person? What can you deduce?

• Is there someone who would like to give his opinion, but can not?

• Who yawns and when? What can this yawning possibly mean?

The development of empathy takes time, but it’s a definite plus for those who want to succeed.