Even angry, stay put!
After the connection to your gut, the second dimension of emotional intelligence is the self-control.
Do you know people who lose control and do or say things they regret seconds later? Do you know people who must regularly ask forgiveness with the following excuses?
“My apologies, everyone. I do not know what came over me. ”
“I was not myself. I am so sorry!”
Such words they apply also to you? Do you ever happen to act like a prehistoric brute? The world has changed. It has evolved and, as the human being has learned to control his environment and became socialized, self-censorship has become a must.
Today, if we want to avoid regrets and obligation to apologize, and we do not say and we do not do anything that comes to our heads. And to help us in this task, there is the frontal lobe, a section of the brain specialized in analysis of logical decisions. This section of the brain has the function of ensuring that the pulses caused by emotions are acceptable and, if they are not, it has the function to stop them.
Self-control is the ability to use this section of the brain before acting the way that our emotions make us want to. With this option, you can resist temptation and control the reactions that would give you a bad reputation in the eyes of others.
There are many advantages to stay calm when a crisis occurs. First, it can prevent you from doing something you regret later (an unnecessary expense that would break your discretionary budget, a word before you think, etc.). Second, it allows you to project an image that makes insurance grow your credibility in the eyes of the people you hang out with. Third, it helps you to cultivate good relationships with the people around you.
How can you ensure that your frontal lobe takes control when your emotions are becoming stronger? Here is an activity that will help you develop this second aspect of emotional intelligence.
If you feel that you lose control of what you’re doing, stop! Take a few deep breaths and remember who you are. You are a human being and you are currently in a situation that you can afford to analyze as if you were an observer.
How he would comment – this observer – what you are doing? What advice does he give? What are the issues? These issues are so important that they are worth the trouble to risk a friendship or professional relationship to defend them? What are the short and medium term, the likely effects of what you are about to do? These effects do they match your personal goals? All that being analyzed, what it is better to do in the current situation?
Now exit your position of observer. Take your role and act for the better, taking into account the conclusions of this short reflection. Emotions are certainly useful, but your behavior should however remain reasonable before you jump into the action.